Allow me to present a sort of a pickle I'm in.
I've believed for a long time that optimism is strictly more beneficial than pessimism. Assuming that you're not sacrificing realism, of course, it seems self-evident to me that we will be happier, stronger people if we try to adopt positive outlooks. Extrapolating on this view, I can see no advantage to anger, or holding grudges, or dwelling on misfortune-- what does it gain us to allow things in our lives to make us unhappy?
For this reason, I tend to argue that, given the option to stew over irritation at people we don't like, or an issue we wish we could escape, it will always be better to just let it go. Let it roll off your back-- like a duck, as my sixth grade teacher once told me.
I also believe that negativity often works as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are convinced that things are going to go wrong, or that you're going to have a terrible day, it is much more likely to be true. Focusing on the bad in the world makes it all the more apparent, until it truly does seem that that's all there is to see.
But here's the truth. I'm also incredibly cynical. Sometimes I can't help it, it just happens. The difference is, I don't like being cynical, so being optimistic takes an effort. But this weird disparity means I'm having a hard time approaching the question analytically. Like I said, the logic of optimism seems self-evident to me. But why is it bad to be angry and cynical? After all, the world isn't always rainbows and muffins. So optimists are going to experience more disappointment as compared to pessimists. Besides, negativity doesn't actually harm us, does it? If anything, it makes us more resilient to the terrible things that will inevitably happen, because we won't be caught completely off guard when fate decides to have a laugh at us. We will have seen it coming.
But that doesn't sound right to me either! I think negativity does weaken us, but I'm not at all sure why. Optimists, help me out. What are the concrete benefits to looking on the bright side of life? Pessimists, argue with me. Is being prepared for the worst worth the cost of viewing the world as even more of a dark, miserable place than it actually is?
Some food for thought:
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
-The Buddha
"A pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events."
-Robert A Heinlein
"I was thinking that it might do some good if we robbed the cynics, and took all their food. That way, what they believe will have taken place, and we'll give it to everybody who has some faith."
-Jewel
Separate points:
ReplyDelete(1) To me it isn't obvious who is a pessimist and who is an optimist, because there is no definition of how the world actually is against which to compare. Any such definition would be made up by a human, so it would already have passed through that human's "optimism (pessimism) filter", if you will.
(2) Some people take these philosophies a step further, intentionally tinging their base worldview positively or negatively before allowing themselves to believe it. I don't like that. If you force yourself to be an optimist, you convince yourself beforehand that everything will be well, and if it turns out not to be, you stay happy by convincing yourself that next time will be better; if you force yourself to be a pessimist, you become hardened so that failure won't damage your psyche. These are both superficial defenses, complementary strategies of the weak minded, that come at the cost of mental integrity.
"Forced" pessimism and optimism are both departures from reality, or at least from what you perceive to be reality. It would be better to trust your instinctive inclinations, and if experience contradicts them, to correct them until they reflect the true state of the world. I have always striven for that balance, a stoic acceptance of the good and the bad.
But you probably knew already that I would say something like that.
In response:
ReplyDelete(1) There actually have been operationalized definitions of "pessimism" and "optimism" in certain experiments that I was just told about today. People's levels of opti/pessimism were measured according to how they predicted quantifiable future events, such as the amount of work they would get done in a given amount of time. So in this way, to a limited extent, you can gauge these abstract concepts, which I think is pretty cool. (1a) As a side note, the interesting results to these studies were that people tend to, by a large margin, be unrealistically optimistic, predicting that much more work will get done than actually ends up getting done.
(2) I certainly don't believe that people should attempt to force a philosophical perspective onto their perception of events-- that's backwards. I agree wholeheartedly that the ideal is to perceive things objectively, and then use those observations to further develop your world view. That's how science should be done, and that's how beliefs should be developed, as far as I'm concerned. I think I actually wrote about this in a previous post (See "The Paradox of Knowing").
I had to grin when I read this because you're obviously a perfect blend of your dad and me. That's probably a much better way to be than either one of us are. :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's really hard to quantify the costs or benefits of either one of these perspectives. But, to me, being an optimist has mostly been very good for me, though it does have some drawbacks. I can be too trusting which leaves me open to those who might have ill will toward me. But mostly my seeing the good in people has made me more likable. People like that I see the good in them and treat them positively.
When things go wrong in my life, I tend to see the good side of the situation. Sure really bad things have happened to me but I think my optimism has made them easier to bear.
I tend to enjoy little things more. When your dad hates a movie, I can find it at least bearable and I tend to really enjoy many movies that others don't like. My optimism makes me easy going.
I can't speak for the pessimists out there but I'm a pretty happy person overall and my stress level is pretty low compared to that of some pessimists I know.
But, it comes naturally to me. It is altogether possible that putting forth a lot of effort to be optimistic may not work for some and may give even more stress than just letting yourself be pessimistic - I don't know.
Jenny (Mom): That really makes a lot of sense to me. Optimism makes you more happy and less stressed! Simple, straightforward. And I think that's good enough to justify it. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is quite the pickle. I think it all comes down to balance. Everything in life is a balancing act. It's very confusing so I'm not even going to pretend I have gotten this balance down, haha. (Also Jenny's comment explained it well already). I believe looking inward is the key to resolving (or making some progress with) the debate between optimism & pessimism. I'm all for positivity but I've gotta be honest, hearing people say "Just think positive" or "There's no use in focusing on the negative" is one of my pet peeves. I feel like they're not putting themselves in my shoes or don't understand what I'm going through. I agree with those statements--I just have to apply them willingly and experience the benefits.
ReplyDeleteI am currently dealing with many difficult things at once. I know the highschool-me would have been severely depressed by it OR completely ignored it. But I have changed & matured a lot this year and have found a balancing act that works for me. Despite everything I am good spirits 90% of the time. I keep positive things at the forefront my mind and try not to let negativity consume me. I do allow myself to be upset sometimes, though. Ignoring (current or past) hardships, even with the goal of positivity, hasn't always been a good thing to do in my experience. Everything in moderation.