Terrified

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself-- nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance..."
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared."
-- Edward Vernon Rickenbacker


Judgment.

Commitment.

Intimacy.

Rejection.

Aloneness.

Inadequacy.

Failure.

I don't believe there is a person alive who does not experience fear. I would go so far as to say that fear is a fundamental, inescapable part of humanity. We all have our own underlying objects of terror that haunt us from the moment we wake up every morning and approach the world.

We are afraid of each other. We are afraid of ourselves. We are afraid of the world, of the future, of the past, of the present. We are afraid of misery, and we are afraid of joy.

I have this hunch that we are motivated by fear in almost everything that we do. Underlying our logical, unembarrassing reasons for the decisions we make, is a deep and pervasive terror. We choose a well-paying, soul-sucking profession because we are afraid of poverty. We stay in an unhappy relationship because we are afraid of dying alone. We present ourselves as being confident and together because we are afraid of letting others see the flawed beings we truly are.

I began this post with the FDR quote because I think it basically represents the common opinion of fear as weakness, as something to be avoided at all costs. However, as I recently started reflecting on my own intense fears, and consciously thinking about how they are motivating me to act-- or not to act-- I started wondering if fear really is the enemy.

In some cases, fear can drive us towards unconscionable acts, for instance if one is threatened or blackmailed. Other times, fear can make us cowards, keeping us from doing the hard stuff that we have to. So you won't hear me arguing that fear doesn't have the potential to hold us back.

But if you think about it from a different perspective, fear can motivate us towards incredible growth. Fear can inspire us to jump-start our lives or careers, to avoid the misery or futility of the future. Fear can clue us in to our sources of weakness and anxiety, so we can strive to conquer them.

Let me give an example: I accepted an internship for this fall working at a Residential Care Facility, where the main population will be schizophrenic patients who are unable to care for themselves. This idea terrifies me. And that is precisely why I chose it-- if I am interested in clinical psychology (which I am), the discomfort I have with working with the mentally ill is going to be a major obstacle, to say the least. So I first had to acknowledge that I was afraid. Knowing this gave me the chance to reflect and realize that I didn't have to let my fear control my actions. So I took the plunge (reactions to actually working in this internship forthcoming).

Fear, like pain and sorrow, lets us know that we are human. By analyzing what we're afraid of, we can come closer to understanding why we are the way we are, which is, I believe, one of the greatest mysteries an individual can face. Moreover, if we can pinpoint our deepest fears and determine whether they're prompting us for good or for ill, it can allow us to be more conscious agents, which is crucial.

One of the most empowering things we can come to believe is that there's nothing wrong with feeling afraid. Fear does not make you a coward. On the contrary; it gives you the opportunity to have courage.